Sleeping is overrated anyway!

It 3:43 AM on my computer clock. Cody is sleeping on the floor next to me, and my snuggle pup, Melanie is on my side of the bed waiting for me to get back. Mickey (aka “the kitten”, even though he will be 4 in a month) is howling downstairs because if I’m up, obviously I should be feeding him. But I’m not. The travesty of it all.

I can’t sleep.

My Dad died on Saturday. Pretty much everyone reading this knows that by now. I am not sad. Well….let me put it this way. I am sad because he was my Dad and of course I will miss him. Daughters are always special to their Dads. But I am choosing to celebrate his life instead of mourning his death.

I was driving to the funeral home tonight thinking about legacies. From my mother, I get my creativity. I also get my ability to question without judging, to judge without excluding and to exclude without hurting. I get my love of household beauty, my cooking talent (never measure and hope for the best) and my willingness to take on and complete projects. From my father, I get my strength. I get my assertiveness and my ability to make friends. And I am fearless because of him. I don’t back down from the things that need to be done. I also know how to walk away when that is the solution. And I don’t regret.

I remember when my grandfather was in the hospital and my father went to see him. This was back in the day when you needed a pass to get in, 2 passes at a time only, handed out by a large unmoving volunteer at the visitors desk in the hospital who took her pass job very seriously. Heaven forbid you tried to sneak up, Mama Pass would yell and maybe even call security to make sure you didn’t attempt that again. You had to wait in the lobby for someone to come down from visiting your loved one before you could even think about heading up. So here comes my Dad, dressed in a suit and tie from work, on his way up to see his Dad. He walked right past Mama Pass like he knew where he was going. The only words uttered? “Good evening, Doctor.” My father, in his true spirit, said “Good evening” and kept going! No one stopped him, up to the floor, in to see my grandfather…you get the picture! Mama Pass probably went home and told her family about the nice doctor she met that night!

And that is a motto I have lived with all my life. Don’t stop. Keep walking until someone stops you. Its easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Live your life…no one else will live it for you. And don’t wait. You don’t know what tomorrow has in mind for us.

So this is my legacy. My life will be a life well-lived. No regrets. No “coulda shoulda woulda”. I will try to find happiness every day. And I will celebrate life, instead of just existing in it. The one sentiment that kept running through the viewing last night was how much my father lived. I want to take that with me from him, and give it back to all my future generations. <3

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