I spent the better part of last Friday and about 3 hours today cleaning out 10 years worth of stuff. I was somewhat surprised to learn that my father was a bit of a hoarder. A neat hoarder, but a hoarder none-the-less. I am finding amazing things as I clean out and dig through. Over 2 dozen decks of playing cards. Maybe he was thinking of opening his own casino. Enough scrap paper to wallpaper a room. A really big room. Property tax and water bills from the house we sold. In 2002. Alot of this stuff is ending up in large black garbage bags earmarked “dumpster”.

And then I stop and think. Really? When he was saving this stuff, did he really want it to end up in the dumpster? Well, of course not, but what am I going to do with 50 or 60 notepads of scrap paper? And how much stuff can I save to honor his memory without making a clutter disaster in my own home? And then the little voices in my head (yes I have more than one) start to argue. Yes, I need to save stuff because its his! No, I need to toss stuff because I am already overwhelmed by the task at hand! And finally…am I being a bad daughter and a thoughtless person because I don’t want anymore stuff to clutter up my house? Is that selfish?

Then I calm down and start to think. Not saving his worn out comforter or his 12 shoe horns doesn’t make me a bad daughter, or a bad person either. Because his legacy is not in his stuff. Its in his memories and in a life well lived.

So I pick a few precious things. The suncatchers from his window. The small prayer and psalm books he read. The”dad” statue I gave him 38 years ago. A box of his medals and memorobilia from the war.

And the other stuff? Well…it didn’t all go into the dumpster. My Dad was a very charitable man, and I am keeping that tradition alive. 4 bags of clothing went to some people in dire need. The books went to the library. The toiletries are going to the food pantry at church. The glasses are going to the Lion’s club. And on and on and on….

I am moving on. I miss my dad, and I will for a very long time. In fact, I will always miss him, and my mom, too. But when I see a little memory of either one of them, it makes me happy. If I was looking at a big pile of clutter, it would make me sad. And I will pick happy over sad anyday.

I can’t sleep.

My Dad died on Saturday. Pretty much everyone reading this knows that by now. I am not sad. Well….let me put it this way. I am sad because he was my Dad and of course I will miss him. Daughters are always special to their Dads. But I am choosing to celebrate his life instead of mourning his death.

I was driving to the funeral home tonight thinking about legacies. From my mother, I get my creativity. I also get my ability to question without judging, to judge without excluding and to exclude without hurting. I get my love of household beauty, my cooking talent (never measure and hope for the best) and my willingness to take on and complete projects. From my father, I get my strength. I get my assertiveness and my ability to make friends. And I am fearless because of him. I don’t back down from the things that need to be done. I also know how to walk away when that is the solution. And I don’t regret.

I remember when my grandfather was in the hospital and my father went to see him. This was back in the day when you needed a pass to get in, 2 passes at a time only, handed out by a large unmoving volunteer at the visitors desk in the hospital who took her pass job very seriously. Heaven forbid you tried to sneak up, Mama Pass would yell and maybe even call security to make sure you didn’t attempt that again. You had to wait in the lobby for someone to come down from visiting your loved one before you could even think about heading up. So here comes my Dad, dressed in a suit and tie from work, on his way up to see his Dad. He walked right past Mama Pass like he knew where he was going. The only words uttered? “Good evening, Doctor.” My father, in his true spirit, said “Good evening” and kept going! No one stopped him, up to the floor, in to see my grandfather…you get the picture! Mama Pass probably went home and told her family about the nice doctor she met that night!

And that is a motto I have lived with all my life. Don’t stop. Keep walking until someone stops you. Its easier to ask forgiveness than permission. Live your life…no one else will live it for you. And don’t wait. You don’t know what tomorrow has in mind for us.

So this is my legacy. My life will be a life well-lived. No regrets. No “coulda shoulda woulda”. I will try to find happiness every day. And I will celebrate life, instead of just existing in it. The one sentiment that kept running through the viewing last night was how much my father lived. I want to take that with me from him, and give it back to all my future generations. <3

Its been too long since I blogged, and while I am probably rusty at it, I am thinking its like riding a bicycle…it will all come back to me.

This is the year. I am going to finally kick clutter’s butt. I am going to get us out of debt. I am going to get in shape. And I am going to take time for me.

These are not New Year’s resolutions. I know better than to make New Year’s resolutions. They are a study in failure. These are more like goals. And I am going to break them down into smaller, more manageable bites so that I don’t get discouraged.

I have a Facebook group dedicated to clutter control and frugal living. And within that group, I set up weekly challenges to conquer and tame clutter. So one thing I am going to do here is to track my clutter challenges. I am also going to keep track of my finacial goals and try to celebrate the victories. I am going to track my me time, and I am going to PLAN my me time if I need to. And as far as the healthy stuff goes?  I am ready to make the changes.

So this week’s challenge was to clean the surfaces in my bedroom. Sounded like a good way to begin. Make the bedroom a sanctuary, clean and clutter free, restful. I was off Tuesday, so I tackled this challenge. My surfaces were not super cluttered, but I tossed some magazines, some old perfume bottles and a few knick-knacks. I cleaned and dusted, washed all the bedding and put away all the things laying around. And it was good.

Financially, I am trying to get organized and planned post-Christmas. I rolled alot of change which will make a great deposit to our savings account. And I have been trying hard to not eat out, and eat from the pantry. No trips to the grocery store save alot of money.

In the healthy living arena, I also used the day off to go through the kitchen. I took all the Christmas stuff down, and gathered up all the unhealthy foods. The baked goods were brought to work.  A banana bread went to my nail technician. I brought the candy to my hairdresser to put in the little candy jar  she keeps on her counter. And some of the junk went…well…right to the trash. Its a start!

And I got my craft room back! All the Christmas bins are out of it, and I am ready to work on some of the multitude of projects. Me time!

And…I will be here more often. Blogging keeps me accountable, and I find I need that accountability. So lets go, 2012…we can do this!!!

You know what they say about the best laid plans, right? Well, I wanted to garden but the weather had other ideas this weekend. We did get quite a bit done on Saturday despite off and on showers. I got the annuals planted, the rest of the flower beds cleaned out and about half of the mulch spread. Steve power-washed the deck and the patio, as well as all the furniture and all 3 cars. :p He also put down that weed-b-gone stuff and used the string trimmer on all the edges. It was alot of work, but it looks great and the pollen is finally washed away.

Now today…IF Mother Nature had cooperated, I would have done more mulch, walked in the park with friends, finished setting up the downstairs furniture and enjoyed coffee on the deck. But she had another idea in mind…apparently the same idea she has for the NEXT 7 DAYS!!! Grrrrr. So it was indoor projects today.

As I told you all, I have been a bit lax on my decluttering. And I’ve really gotten away from the whole concept of “27 things” at a fling. And I really really REALLY needed to get up into the crawlspace. We have a large indoor very dry crawlspace that is a great storage area. I try to keep one step ahead of the clutter up there, but its not always easy. In fact, this very space is what inspired my first round of decluttering in 2002, when I went to put the Christmas stuff away and couldn’t fit it all in. Its been much better these past years, but one of the things we store up there is old papers, stuff you need to keep for 3-7-10 years but really don’t need unless you get audited or refinance your house. So…it was time. Way past time.

Up I went. The issue with the crawlspace is its over the kitchen and only accessable by ladder, which means its sort of an event just to get up there. I always take my cell phone with me in case the dogs knock the ladder over and I get stranded. I can always call 911. I took with me my small little pile of papers to store. I am actually sort of organized up there…a box for school stuff, a box for legal stuff, a box for financial stuff…ummmm.

Yeah.

Again, I ask the question, WHY do we keep all this stuff? The same question I’ve been asking over and over as my project moves on. Car repair bills from cars we no longer own. Checkbook registers from the dawn of time. Paystubs from jobs that no longer exist. In fact, the first two numbers of the year on them wasn’t even “20″.

And so, out it all went. Now I have a large box filled with stuff to burn, and another bag of papers with no ID on them is in the dumpster.

This job took me the better part of the day. OK, so I did some baking, Facebooking and napping in between, but really, this was a huge project.

Is it done? Not really. See, I still need to go through the boxes that contain the memorobilia of our parents and our lives. I don’t want to throw this stuff out. What I want to do is sort it and figure out someway to honor and cherish the memories. But this is a project for another day.

So this week I will start a fire in the outdoor fire place and put the last of the paper brigade to rest. I promise, no, I swear, I will never let it get this bad again. Its a lesson learned.

Life has been crazy busy. Lots of family stuff happening, graduation, Easter, Mother’s day, communion…and lots of trying to get stuff done at the house. Which I might add, has only been partially successful.

But we go on from here! This weekend I have off. We were supposed  to put down a new floor, but we didn’t order it yet, so we will spend the time catching up on a million projects that need doing. Its all good.

I’ve also decided that its time to become a little more creative in my meal plans. Last night was an interesting night. One of my cats jumped up on the top of the fridge. This would normally not be a problem, but either Steve or myself forgot to secure the velcro closure (our fridge is slighlty off kilter) and the door swung open. Lord only knows how long it was open, but all the ice cubes were melted, the ice cream was mush and several items needed to go. Now the good thing is that all our meat is kept in our downstairs freezer, so the loss was minimal. And we cooked what was too defrtosted to refreeze. So dinner last night was pierogies, burgers and chicken patties. :p

This was fresh off of Steve and I having a discussion on  healthier eating. Yeah, about that. But it was only a small speed bump, maybe our last hurrah before better habits take over.

There’s nothing wrong with a burger. But we need to try to balance it with better side dishes and exercise. This is something we can change, and we will. Tomorrow’s menu has crock pot ribs on it. I’m thinking a nice salad, even a fresh made cole slaw, and baked potatoes would make this a healthier choice. And we are gettting into fresh veggie season, so that should help me out.

Steve of course, doesn’t eat alot of “stuff” as you guys all kow, so it might be a bit of a challenge for him. We’ll see. but we have to try, right?

I am going to ty to go back to making bento lunches, too. My friends Chrissi and Eileen are the queens of Bentos, and I can take some inspiration from them. I thinki it might be fun and a challenge, too. While I will never acquire a taste for fresh seaweed or raw fish, I love the idea of fun stuff and unique offerings.

This weekend will be garden clean up time, weather permitting. I have 6 brand new bags of mulch laying in my driveway, and several pots and flats of plants. The earth is calling me. I can’t wait to work in the garden! I’ve been cleaning out the flower beds, and theren is nothing better than working in the fresh air and the soil.

And, I am going to do a training walk for my 3-Day walk. I met some other girls doing the walk, too, and we’ve been trying to get together to walk a few miles in the park. Maybe I can convince Steve to join us this weekend!

So, life is going on. I promise I’ll try to get back here a little more, and try to continue to declutter my life. Meanwhile, let the sun keep shining…its a good thing!!!

This week I took a day off from work. Not neccessarily a sick day, although I was feeling pretty lousy. Achy, tired, sore throat, either allergies or sheer exhaustion. But I decided to stay home and recuperate.

I thought to myself “Self? You are home! A day to get caught up on lots of little projects!” But my poor old tired exhausted self really just wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep. So finally, I decided on filing. I thought, that will be an easy, non strenuous project that I can leave in the middle to rest, right? Ummm…not so much.

I began by sorting out all the papers I had to file. Months worth. have I mentioned that I hate filing? And therefore put it off as long as I can? Phone bills from October. Its April, right? Sigh.

Anyway, I sorted the paper brigade, tossed what I didn’t need, laid it out on the table and got it all ready.  I retrieved my file folders from the file cabinet, and this is where the fun really began. Just how much of this stuff do I need to keep? Do I need to keep any of it, when its all available at the click of a mouse online? All those quarterly investment reports…do I need them? I get an end of the year statement, and all my documents are online, anyway. Do I need my dental bills from 2007? Do I need to hold onto expired credit cards and their information? 7 years of bank statements?

And so, I sorted, tossed and filed. I shredded, burned and destroyed. And my file cabinet was half the fullness that I started with. Oh…and it did take me all day. Not such an easy project as I first thought.

And now, I am inspired. I have another file drawer to clear out. I have all my Dad’s old stuff to go through and purge. And Steve has promised to go through his file drawer too.

Who knows where this will lead? Maybe if its organized just a little bit better, I may actually file more often! Have I mentioned how much I hate filing? Then it won’t take a full day, and it won’t be something I put off until I can’t stand it anymore. And maybe, just maybe, I could learn to love…or at least like….filing!

It has been a long cold winter that hung on with a venegance. It zapped my energy and made me long for summer days. It sometimes made getting up for work in the morning the hardest chore of the day. And it took the spark out of my decluttering projects.

But with the renewal of the earth this season, I feel a renewed energy coming back. And guess what? Steve is feeling it too! Let me explain that by going back to an awesome find 3 weeks ago…

I was surfing craigslist a little while ago in search of bar stools.  I was in the furniture section when I came across a dining room hutch. It was a honey pine, Broyhill, and it looked really nice.  I asked Steve what he thought and he told me to get the details. I did, bottom line is, we ended up buying it and its now in my dining room.

The hutch replaces 2 pieces, a small buffet and an older piece that I have had in there for many years. It belonged to Steve’s grandmother, and even though I am all about antiques, this piece is in rough shape and really doesn’t match our rustic log home. Our dining room table and 6 uncomfortable chairs match this piece, so it will all be going soon as a set, once we find a table that we like and that matches the hutch. 

That led to the discussion of the secretary in the corner. Its a beautiful old piece that belonged to my grandmother, but I think I am ready to part with it. the problem is, it stores all of my father’s paperwork, and if I get rid of it, I need to find a place to store all of that stuff. And here’s where Steve comes in.

We have  four drawer file cabinet in his office, of which he has 2 drawers. One is crammed full of old, outdated EMS teaching guides that he has been reluctant to part with. Well, guess what? He told me two days ago that he really doesn’t need that stuff anymore, and he will gladly part with it to make room for my dad’s stuff.  I told him that in return, I will help him clean out and organize his office to get ready for the new teaching/consulting/education business he is trying to get off the ground.

Its a win win for all of us. I get space, the office gets organized, more clutter goes out and a large piece of furniture leaves. Someone will buy it, and love it, and care for it, just as I did.

And meanwhile, the spring picks my momentum up. Projects are getting done, filing will be done and soon, spring clothes will be sorted. The cycle of the seasons goes on, and I progress with it.

Every year, there is a “super gigantic indoor garage sale” at the Allentown Fairgrounds. You rent a space, show up, and sell your stuff. Pretty easy!

My friend Laurie and I did it last year, and we decided to try it again this year. All this decluttering had led to boxes and boxes of stuff parked in my basement hallway, and I really wanted it to go away. So I sorted, cleaned, priced and packed it all in boxes and bags, loaded my car, borrowed my friends hand truck and away I went! It took me about 2 hours to off load and set up, and then another hour the next day to get the last stuff done. The doors opened at 8 and the crowds poured in!

Well, they sort of trickled in. The turnout was not as good as last year, and the people that were there were not willing to spend the money. I actually had someone arguing with me that my $1 earrings were too pricey.

But I made back my table money, my gas money and a little more. I got rid of some stuff. I made up a bag that got donated to the church. I donated more clothes to the Ecumenical Society. And I made more room in my hall to continue the decluttering project.

This summer, we will have a family yard sale. And I will get rid of more stuff, maybe even encourage Steve to declutter his shop a little more. And slowly, but surely, despite the lull I’ve been in lately, it goes away!

But, I am an optimist. You need to make the best of it, and we are. In the past 18 months, we have had some of the best times of our lives. We drove to Disney. We saved the Dansbury Depot. We adopted Melanie, our little beagle/lab mix. And we have good times every day of our lives.

So now, we realize that we need to install a dining room floor. Ours has alot of water damage, and the people that installed it came out to look at it and wanted…well, lets just say, more money to fix it then it cost to install it. Today we were talking about projects that need to be done, and where they fit in our newly revised budget plan. Because thats the other thing about unemployment, It makes you rethink your budget priorities. And not only that, but you can come up with very creative solutions to sticky financial problems.

And so, a plan takes shape. We can…and will….install this floor ourselves. We are pretty creative and talented homeowners, and have put alot of time and effort into our home. So we will take ourselves to Lowe’s, choose the flooring we want, and install it. We’ve earmarked 2 weekends in May for this project. Why May? Well, the taxes will be paid by then, the weather will be nicer, and we don’t have any commitments for those two weekends, so no missed opportunities for earning money.

I am really looking forward to this. Yes, it was nice getting the floor installed the first time and saying “See my nice new floor?” But there is something really special about being able to say “See my nice new floor? We installed it ourselves!” Steve and I work very well together on projects..always have…so it will be fun as well.

And…of course, to install a floor everything has to come out of the room. Therefore…I might actually be forced to tackle the dreaded dining room decluttering project!

So we make the best of it. We’ll get a new floor, we’ll work on a project and we’ll be proud of the results. We won’t break the bank doing it, and in the end, we will know that even as devastating a situation as unemployment is, it won’t bring us down!

And so, my decluttering has suffered. I want to get outside and declutter my garden. I want to clean out my shed. I want Steve to power wash the decks so we can set up the furniture. I want it to finally be nice out, and with no caveats attached, like “Jetstream” or “wind chill factor” or “5 more inches”.

And my spirits have faltered. I haven’t been nearly as energized as I was in the beginning of the year. Yes, little jobs are getting done. The junk drawer in the kitchen got emptied, scrubbed and reorganized. I sorted through 1 of the holiday bins, but there are many more to go. I organized and sorted out my jewelry box, a task sorely overdue. And I did sort out the yard sale stuff and price it.

I know that I need to jump back in with 2 feet if I’m going to complete this project. I still have the linen closet to do, the rest of the books and the dining room. And I want to sort through my spring and summer clothes. But its too depressing to look at all those cute tops and then look out at snow and ice. Nights of wearing capris and a sleeveless shirt seem very far away right now.

But we will be there soon. The eternal optimist in me knows it and feels it. And I will be ready with a brighter, cleaner, less cluttered house to enjoy it with!

Oh! And one more PS. We had some friends over Saturday. It was just a lunch meeting, but having everything just where I knew it would be made it so much easier to entertain. I used a cute bowl for the salad that I hadn’t used in ages, and we were able to relax and enjoy the company. I guess that is one of the outcomes of all this, too…if I can enjoy life more, maybe the winter blues won’t hold on too tightly or too long, and the spring happiness will creep in!